The Ghetto Hokey-Pokey

Just got back from a Carnival Cruise Lines 7-day tour of the Western Caribbean. It’s always nice to get away for a few days, but a full seven days in the heat (and humidity) may be a little too much.

What's Up?

The girlfriend and I made the trip, along with her best friend, her best friend’s sister and two other ladies. We weren’t always with them, so I didn’t suffer estrogen overload. We spent the first day in Pompano Beach at a time share, but really didn’t do too much. We did catch a glimpse of the Goodyear blimp. Things picked up after American Airlines lost one of the ladies’ luggage. That led to a frenzied trip to Wal-Mart to get enough stuff to last until the bag caught up with us.

The worst part of sea travel is queuing up in the departure building. It seemed like all 3,000 passengers were in the hangar-sized building, waiting to check in, which, in itself, is a pretty simple process. However, if you on a trip, take care of as many pre-boarding things as you can before getting to check-in. That includes making sure you’ve let your credit card company and cell phone provider know you’re leaving the country. As far as leaving home, stopping the mail isn’t a big deal, but DO NOT turn the AC completely off if you live in Memphis and are traveling in June. It’ll take hours for the house to cool down when you get home.

The view from my deck chair

Once you’re on the ship, things pick up. On one hand, tickets are cheap, and food is plentiful and there are a lot of things to do. Don’t think though, that you’re getting away with not spending a lot of money. Liquor? You pay. Steak? You pay. Spa treatment? You pay. Take a tour on shore? Oh yeah. Want to do something free? Sit on the Main deck and watch the water go by. It’s actually pretty refreshing.

The big "V"

We were on the Carnival Valor, which is an okay boat. We were on deck 1, which is actually the lowest level for passenger cabins. And we were on the inside. That means very small cabin with no window. There was almost no room to turn around. Some travelers say “oh, you’re not going to spend any time in the cabin anyway.” You will though, and you’ll wish you had a bigger room.

Here’s a tip; if you’re prone to overeating, try and drop a few pounds before going on a cruise. There’s way too much free food on a cruise to work off during the trip – even if you’re heading up to the gym on a regular basis and spending a lot of time walking from here and there when you’re in port.

No, it's not your workplace...

Was it hot? Hell yeah. You can even stop there on a cruise like this. Turns out there’s a town on Grand Cayman Island called “Hell.” You can send a postcard postmarked from “Hell.” Or get your picture taken by the side of a couple of shops that broadcast their location. I actually have a couple of former coworkers who live on Grand Cayman, but time onshore is limited, so I didn’t get a chance to visit. I did get to the factory that cranks out Tortuga Rum cakes. They keep a few examples of fauna on the grounds of the factory.


I could understand the parrots and the peacocks. I’m still not quite sure why the pigeons are caged.

There was one thing on day one of the cruise that inspired the title of today’s blog. While sauntering along the Promenade deck, we happened across dancing in the Lindy Hop Piano Bar. The Electric Slide broke out, so a couple most of our group joined in. I was in the hallway watching (I don’t dance). Let me mention that most of the people dancing were white (nothing wrong with that, everybody loves doing the Slide). A couple of good ole boys walk past and one of them says, after seeing the dancing, “oh look, the ghetto hokey-pokey.” It was funny. Pretty much racist, but funny.

More to come.


2 thoughts on “The Ghetto Hokey-Pokey

  1. Bro – welcome home! Sorry Hell was so hot. We were there in January and it was more like Heaven! The invitation for the Eastern Caribbean cruise in January 2011 is still open! I can promise while we’re fighting our way through snow and ice – it will be like a slice of Heaven in the Caribbean.

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